The Man In The Robe
When I teach about the importance of clearing mental and emotional clutter before beginning spiritual work, it’s not just a lesson I learned from books it’s something I’ve lived. This practice became part of me starting as far back as my memories started, in ways I didn’t understand back then. Now I see it as the foundation of what I call spiritual hygiene but back then, it was simply survival.
My parents divorced when I was young. It wasn't long till my mother remarried, my 1st of several stepfathers. His name was Dewey but everyone called him Dick. He was a cruel man and was raised in prison and ran the house like one. His punishments were not quick or impulsive. They were calculated to break you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everything was marked on a chart that hung on the wall. The point was to earn stars but they were nearly impossible to reach. If you made a mistake, it could mean hours or even days of beatings. For example, if you were assigned 24 hours of punishment, every 30 minutes you were forced out of bed, bent over the couch, and whipped with a belt for five minutes straight. The hits landed wherever they landed your back, your legs, your arms, even your face if you turned it the wrong way. If you flinched, cried, or screamed, another minute was added. The only relief was returning to bed with a piece of bread and water, but the process repeated every 30 minutes until the punishment time frame was complete.
During those long, dark nights, I learned quickly that reacting crying, yelling, or even moving would only make things worse. The only way to stop it was to stay perfectly still, not flinching, not moving. So I taught myself how to do it. But staying still physically wasn’t enough. Inside, my mind was screaming. That’s when I discovered how to escape not with my body, but with my imagination and a man in the robe.
While lying in bed between the beatings, I would find something maybe a crack on the ceiling, a shadow on the wall, or even a blank space and use it to create a beautiful picture in my mind. I would imagine a place far away from where I was, filled with light and peace and pretty things. And then, something incredible happened. A man appeared. He had long hair and wore a long robe, but I never saw his face only his outline. I didn’t know who he was because I wasn’t taken to church as a child and had no concept of God or Jesus. All I knew was that whenever he appeared, I felt safe. He would guide me, showing me how to focus on my imagination, how to find stillness, and how to separate myself from the pain I was enduring.
This wasn’t just during the beatings. It was in other dark moments too, times I hesitate to even share now. Times when I was forced to participate in things no child should ever have to experience, like being used in robberies or other horrors I dare not mention yet. In all those moments, when the world around me felt like it was collapsing, that man would show up. He taught me how to survive not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. He helped me create a space within myself where the chaos couldn’t reach me. We all have this space within us if we just look deep within.
Looking back, I now know who that man was. Some call him Jesus, Christ, there are 198 different names the man in the robe has throughout the world, and history. For me He was my guide, my protector, a divine presence sent to keep me from losing my mind in a world filled with unimaginable cruelty. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this practice of visualization and finding stillness was more than survival it was the beginning of my spiritual journey. It was my first lesson in clearing emotional and mental energy so that I could survive, heal, and eventually grow.
It’s hard to share these stories sometimes because people think I’m crazy. They wonder how I could see something like that or why I would believe in it. But what I know is this: that man showed up and still does to this day, when I need him. He saved me from losing myself in the world I was forced to live in. And now, I take what I learned from those moments and use it to teach others not just as a tool for survival but as a sacred practice for healing and awakening. To find that core spot within us all. The real kingdom of heaven!
When I talk about clearing mental and emotional clutter today, I think of that little girl, lying in bed, finding a crack on the ceiling to imagine her way to peace. I think about how clearing the mind is like wiping a foggy window so you can see the light on the other side. Without clearing the noise and pain, it’s hard to connect to the divine or understand spiritual truths. You have to fully present in the now moment to see and hear.
This is why spiritual hygiene is so essential. It’s not just about cleaning up your energy it’s about finding that stillness within, that place where you can reconnect with yourself and with the divine. It’s a lesson I learned at very young age, and one I now pass on to help others find their way to clarity, peace, and healing.
Deep down, I know I’m not the only one who has experienced the man in the robe. I believe other kids like me those who endured pain and darkness have felt his presence too, even if they didn’t understand it. People argue about religion and God, debating who’s right and who’s wrong. I may not have the answers to those questions, but what I do know is this: the man in the robe was and is real. He saved me multiple times in my life, teaching me how to survive when survival seemed impossible.
And he still walks with me today.
Now, as I’ve grown, I am blessed to say that my connection to the divine has grown as well. Over the years, my ability to connect with angels and spirit guides has deepened, and I am able to do the work I do today helping others heal, grow, and transform their lives. But none of this would have been possible without learning to gain control of my mind. That practice of stillness, born out of pain and survival, became the foundation for everything I do now. The man in the robe gave me the tools to keep going, and for that, I will always be grateful. He truly saved my life!
Be Blessed Beautiful Souls
The Unique TonyaLe
©2025TonyaLe
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